i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
cat food counts as protein by the way
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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