Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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