Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
