One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
