I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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