dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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