Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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