It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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