dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
