Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I need to calm my uterus...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize