A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
