Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
