She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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