I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize