New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?