Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.