Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.