We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.