When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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