I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
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I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus