Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt

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  (248): yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt http://tfl.nu/91j7
  Replies (11) Good night (1367) Bad night (3326)
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  (949): View more from California

  i just wanna soil my oats bro

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  (949): i just wanna soil my oats bro http://tfl.nu/wcck
  Replies (8) Good night (1003) Bad night (715)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I misjudged your gender.

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  (508): you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity. (978): I guess I misjudged your gender. http://tfl.nu/83hj
  Replies (4) Good night (834) Bad night (1621)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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  (617): I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/tunm
  Replies (45) Good night (1632) Bad night (5164)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (860) Bad night (3851)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

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  (817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca
  Replies (29) Good night (9951) Bad night (1174)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.

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  (703): I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend. http://tfl.nu/4wvr
  Replies (9) Good night (4032) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes

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  (419): i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes http://tfl.nu/0ze1
  Replies (6) Good night (1963) Bad night (999)
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  (851): View more from

  Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.

  (522): View more from

  Don't break up.

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  (851): Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th. (522): Don't break up. http://tfl.nu/7rul
  Replies (12) Good night (2356) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.

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  (647): Think I pulled my pelvic muscle. (416): I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle. http://tfl.nu/mzl9
  Replies (6) Good night (2121) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.

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  (903): Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/q5rg
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (560)
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  (916): View more from California

  I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.

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  (916): I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother. http://tfl.nu/2nlw
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.

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  (+44): You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/zp27
  Replies (6) Good night (613) Bad night (1642)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.

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  (660): I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now. http://tfl.nu/b4q6
  Replies (5) Good night (1268) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails

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  (703): I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails http://tfl.nu/g65f
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (619)

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