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• (313): View more from Michigan

  My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Ppl just aren't as funny as we are

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I murdered the dance floor call the cops

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?

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• (+82): View more from South Korea

  You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?

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