Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

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  (712): Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood. http://tfl.nu/9bbv
  Replies (10) Good night (1634) Bad night (579)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.

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  (512): hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one? (1-512): yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go. http://tfl.nu/pwrk
  Replies (18) Good night (3881) Bad night (733)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating

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  (440): I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating http://tfl.nu/7lhs
  Replies (24) Good night (6170) Bad night (640)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair

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  (603): Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair http://tfl.nu/7ypz
  Replies (36) Good night (4714) Bad night (1459)
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  (925): View more from California

  Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.

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  (925): Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear. http://tfl.nu/48r4
  Replies (14) Good night (3446) Bad night (1073)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.

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  (202): Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30. http://tfl.nu/8g1h
  Replies (6) Good night (1145) Bad night (2825)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.

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  (210): After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/pl4c
  Replies (17) Good night (3251) Bad night (968)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.

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  (403): were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found. http://tfl.nu/pucp
  Replies (13) Good night (2360) Bad night (1019)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We were fucking at break-dick speeds.

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  (416): We were fucking at break-dick speeds. http://tfl.nu/i1r9
  Replies (15) Good night (1943) Bad night (677)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.

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  (205): Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight. http://tfl.nu/1hhy
  Replies (11) Good night (2773) Bad night (624)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home

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  (910): There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home http://tfl.nu/98yp
  Replies (10) Good night (1324) Bad night (526)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"

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  (262): In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it" http://tfl.nu/19mj
  Replies (6) Good night (649) Bad night (1648)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.

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  (337): So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned. http://tfl.nu/3vjy
  Replies (1) Good night (751) Bad night (405)
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  (650): View more from California

  And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.

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  (650): And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time. http://tfl.nu/nm1x
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (305)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.

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  (503): Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever. http://tfl.nu/9erv
  Replies (7) Good night (875) Bad night (500)

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