he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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