Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
