Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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