girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hippo gnu deer
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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