I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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