TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
