so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
