Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
