You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Randomize
