Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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