the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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