she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
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you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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