Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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