Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
