She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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