Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
