shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
