Sry I called you an 8
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
