spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
