anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
