For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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