i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
