i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
