is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
