I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
