let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize