I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
