my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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