It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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