and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
