Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
