i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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