Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
