Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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