with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
