rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
