i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I checked into jail on foursquare
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize