I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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