He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
