so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
