I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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